t notes

Caution: Lebanese Art

2012-02-27T04:01:00.000-08:00

Thankfully I now have a producer, an amazing woman called Jessica Harrington. She now has to take over some of the dirty work I hate doing like for example telling venues:
"Sorry but no. She can't work her ass off for practically no money because not all artists come from rich families" or "Thank you very much but we occasionally need to eat."

The second top annoying thing that I don't like doing in the art world and that now Jess has to do is to make sure that not every festival I go to introduce me as "Lebanese Live Artist." She will have to tell them "Dear sir/madam, I hate to break the news to you but being Lebanese is not a profession" or "I understand that you have to tick the box in the Equal Opportunities Form so you might as well say 'Arab' or 'Brown' if this makes your funders feel better about themselves." or "We were just wondering: is the word 'Lebanese' here a euphemism for 'may contain angry content by a person born in a civil war' or is it 'might have a weird accent' or perhaps 'you might want to look up Lebanon in Wikipedia before the show' or is it more like a 'warning: may be a bit too political for a Saturday night'?"

They will get back to her saying that they only mention my nationality to give their festival an international feel. "Oh right, we understand but we were wondering why no one mentioned that the American artists are Americans?" Jess will then have to lecture them on the concept of "Invisibility of the whiteness."


Jess and I on a mission

حين لا تكون صفة "لبنانية" شتيمة

2012-01-13T13:58:00.000-08:00

Graffiti in Beirut (From Moe Ali blog)

ظننت بأني حين أنتقل للعيش في اوروبا سوف أتخلص من نظرة رجال لبنان والعرب للبنانيات لكني وجدت بأن "الحمد الله صيتنا سبقنا."
"طبعاً لبنانية!" يقول بعض الأجانب، "سمعت بأنهن أجمل نساء الأرض." ثم يتابع "... وأكثرهنّ اهتماماً بمظهرهنّ الخارجي"... "نساء لبنان سطحيات، أليس كذلك؟" "بوتوكس وقصص؟" "يتبرجن للذهاب الى الشاطئ؟" "يتبرجن للذهاب الى الثلج؟" "ما موقفك من عمليات التجميل؟"

يعني... هو ليس اختراعاً لبنانياً! ونساء العالم كله تتصارع مع تحويلهنّ الى كائنات منفوخة كالألعاب لكي تعجب من يصب علينا هيمنته البورنوغرافية.

هناك الكثير ليقال عن تحويل النساء الى عجائب لإثارة الرغبة الجنسية عند قليلي الخيال لكني أعلم شيئاً واحداً عن نساء لبنان: لطالما انتفضن ضد الظلم والاحتلال وشاركن في عمليات المقاومة وعشن حروباً فظيعة وهن الآن رغم الجمود السياسي اللبناني المقزز يحتلين الشارع ويعتصمن ضد الاغتصاب والتحرش الجنسي المنتشر بلبنان انتشار السيارات وضد قوانينهم وأحزابهم وحروبهم وعقدهم الجنسية وهيمنتهم على كل فئة مستضدعفة.

سوف يأتي التغيير في لبنان مثلما زهر في الربيع العربي بواسطة نسائه.

اعتصام ضد الاغتصاب – يوم السبت 14 كانون الثاني انطلاقاً من أمام وزارة الداخلية – الصنائع الساعة 12 ظهراً ووصولاً الى مجلس النواب في ساحة النجمة.

A blue bra worth more than all the military uniforms of the world.

2011-12-18T12:05:00.000-08:00

Dragging someone on the floor is a performative act. During the Lebanese civil war, the most horrifying scene that you could encounter in the streets was often an injured or beaten or even dead person being dragged on the floor and sometimes hanged from a moving car and being dragged around so that everyone could watch.
During the 5th century, Christian "mobs attacked Hypatia, stripped her naked as a form of humiliation then dragged her through the streets" of Alexandria.
In 2011, Arab women are being stripped naked, attacked, beaten, arrested, tortured, raped and dragged around because they are leading the fight for freedom.

Yesterday in Cairo

Zainab Al Khawaja in Bahrain a couple of days ago (still detained)

21st century Apartheid buses

2011-11-15T08:26:00.001-08:00

Photo by Hydar Dwechi taken during the Amhurst Republic's last event and posted in solidarity with the Palestinian Freedom Riders. Today a group of Palestinians challenged the segregation in occupied West Bank by attempting to ride the 'non Arabs' buses and reach Jerusalem.

افتحوا المعابر

2011-10-07T04:29:00.000-07:00

أنتظر الجنسية البريطانية بفارغ الصبر فأنا أعمل على مشروع بحث عن الناشطين العرب الذين يستعملون الفن كوسيلة للنشاط السياسي من أجل التغيير ولاسيما الفن الحيّ كوسيلة اعتصام. هدفي أن أزور البلدان العربية التي حصل ويحصل فيها انتفاضات وثورات شعبية وأنتظر أن أحصل على جواز سفر بريطاني كي أتمكن من السفر الى تلك البلدان العربية!

أردت أن أزور مصر خلال الثورة لكني لم أكن أملك تأشيرة دخول.
أردت أن أشارك في ملتقى المدونين العرب في تونس ولكني لم أكن أملك تأشيرة دخول. وهذه بلدان ثورية وهذا ربيع عربي!

إن الصراع من أجل فتح الحدود بين البلاد العربية صراع من أجل التفاف الثوار على بعضهم البعض ومن أجل تحرير البلاد جميعها ومن أجل تضامن حقيقي مع القضية الفلسطينية ومن أجل تغيير فعلي وبلاد تشبهنا لا يحكمها العسكر ولا الشبيحة ولا أمن أي نظام مجرم. نريد الحرية دون تنازلات. حرية التعبير وحرية الاعتصام و حرية التنقل.

We do not read signs

2011-09-25T16:55:00.001-07:00

Yet another massive sigh traveled across my body and landed on a French railway track. It was pretty loud. Somebody found that amusing.

-T'as pas l'air contente du tout.
- Non. J'ai le mal au coeur.
- Une femme aussi belle que toi! Qui est cet homme stupide?
- Disons qu'il est un peu bête.
- Peut être un verre de vin te fera du bien.
- Oui peut être.

This is how easily one walks away with a new disappointment disguised in the shape of a handsome man.

حواجز على مين؟

2011-09-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

في كل مرة أمضي فيها وقتاً في بيروت، ألاحظ كم نحن معتادون على الحواجز الأمنية. نخفف السير كما تطلب الاشارة، نشعل الضوء في السيارة، نفتح النافذة، نضع ابتسامة صفراء ونردد: "يعطيك العافية يا وطن" ينظر العسكري المتعب في وجهنا ويحرك يده بطريقة ميكانيكية. والمواطن اللبيب من الاشارة يفهم.

في فترة "سلام" (هذا يعني في لبنان فترة لا قتال مسلح في الشوارع) وفي فترة لبنانية مملة رغم الربيع العربي والثورات المجاورة، هناك حواجز نمر بها على شكل يومي حتى ونحن ذاهبون الى المطار. لم أرى في حياتي مطاراً آخراً تمر بحاجز للجيش للوصول اليه. لاطالما تساءلت ماذا يقول السواح الذين أغرتهم وزارة السياحة بصدور نسائية لبنانية عارية وراقصة حين يرون المشهد العسكري في المطار؟ غير سكسي على الاطلاق.

في المقابل هناك العديد من السيارات التي تتنزه دون نمر والمئات من الشبيحة الفالتة والألوف من الزعران الذكورين الذين لا يتركون نساء البلد بسلام. ناهيك عن أمراء الحرب في البرلمان والوزارات ومرافقينهم الذين يرهبون شوارعنا وسائقي الفانات والسرفيسات الذين يستعملون المدينة مثل قن لدجاج مصابة بالهيستيريا.

لكن الحواجز لا "تفلتر" هؤلاء.

هي حواجز على من بالظبط؟

رسالة رومنسية الى حكام العرب

2011-08-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

Tim Etchell's installation at Forest Fringe

يا أنصاف البشر ويا أولاد الكلب والأسد، كفاكم قتلاً وتعذيباً واعتقالاً وترهيباً وتخويناً.

 ألستم من هؤلاء الذين يخافون الله؟ أي اله هذا الذي يقبل بكم آلهة علينا؟ أنجس شياطين الأرض والسماء أنتم وجنودكم المرتزقة. 

كم من العقود بعد تريد جزمتكم أن تحكمنا؟ ألا تتعبون؟ حتى القتلة يستريحون، حتى القناصون يتقاعدون.

ألم تسمعوا الملايين من أحرار العرب يهتفون بلهفة لرحيلكم المنتظر؟ هل كانت السماء تمطر حين قرروا البسق جماعياً في وجوهكم العفنة؟

كل أشلاء البشر التي خلفتمونها وراءكم تهتف الآن من القبور ومن حدائق المنازل حيث دفنت على عجلة: ساقط، ساقط، ساقط لا محال!

"The talk about 'pushing boundaries' is utter rubbish."

2011-08-09T15:22:00.000-07:00

London's Burning

2011-08-08T16:01:00.000-07:00

It all started while the majority of the UK government appeared to be on holiday and are now quite frustrated about having to leave Tuscany and other sunny destinations to rush back to a rainy London and deal with what they already tagged as "thugs," "criminals," "looters," lawless," "thieves," "opportunists," "violent," "mindless" London youth.
It started in Tottenham (where I took these photos) in response to the police killing a local man (Mark Duggan) and claiming that he shot at them first which later appeared to be a false claim. But they later apologized to his family which was a very kind thing to do. So why are people still rioting?
The #londonriots hashtag on twitter is filled with classist and racist comments calling the protesters animals and scum to say the least. However, a small minority is still trying to keep the link between riots and poverty, the police behaviour, the capitalist system, the tory government's brutal cuts which affected people enormously specially the less fortunate ones who are not currently on their fourth holiday this year.

The events are spreading fast with hundreds arrests, shops being raided and destroyed, new areas being involved...but what is so far very worrying is the talk about a martial law enforcement, Blackberry accepting to help the police ie allowing them to monitor BBM (which was a scandalous thing when the Arab gulf governments wanted to enforce but now it's suddenly not a big deal) and the Scotland Yard announcing that twitter users could be arrested for inciting violence.

Just like the Labour party's 'terrorism acts law' compromised on the everyday liberty of the people living in the UK instead of tackling the real problem, it is likely that we soon hear of a new set of oppressive policies written this time by pissed off conservatives who just interrupted their holidays.

"Casio watch viewed with suspicion by US officials as a possible sign of terrorist links."

2011-08-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

I was stuck in one of those awful easyjet queues waiting to board a plane from Berlin to London. A couple of hours earlier, I passed by the massive Holocaust memorial in the middle of Berlin. I was reflecting on how cold and concrete that installation seemed to me when I heard two people in the queue chatting about the holocaust. I eavesdropped to their conversation. An American woman was telling an Englishman that 6 million Jews were killed to which he replied "they were actually 2 million."
Not the usual white people small talk in a queue.
She then quickly mumbled something about Israel to which he replied: "who is talking about Israel? Fuck Israel. It's a disgusting place. Burn that shit down to the ground. It's not their country anyway!" I turned around to what appeared to me like a perfect scene in an American film. The woman was actually making a classic over the top face of rage and shock with the whole mouth opening and eyes rolling thing. She said: "This conversation is over. I can't believe you said: Fuck Israel!"

I couldn't understand why she cared more about him saying "Fuck Israel" than saying "burn it to the ground."
Half an hour later when we finally sat on the plane waiting for it to take off, I saw the crew approaching the Englishman and asking him questions such as: " We had complaints about you. What did you tell that lady? Repeat what you said. Why are you saying such a thing? ..." Apparently she told them that he scared her by his radical and unacceptable views and she is now convinced that he is a security threat.
I heard words coming out of my mouth in this shape: "Talking about a brutal occupation is a taboo in Germany."
They all looked at me. That was dumb. The face of the American woman appeared again looking even more like an over-actor. She told me "What did you say about Israel?" Words came out again: "A BRUTAL OCCUPATION!"
To my surprise, the easyjet crew suddenly shock their heads and decided that this is turning into a headache since more people are now involved. They said: "We are not interested in your arguments."
Phew! Thank god easyjet are such amateurs, any other company would have probably sent us straight to Guantanamo. I took off my casio watch, popped a sleeping pill and cursed my big mouth.

Scratching the itch only makes it worse.

2011-07-20T02:53:00.000-07:00

There is something apologetic about the word 'Scratch.' It often sounds to me that it's addressed to the middle class and elitist theatre crowd who are struggling to understand the whole deal with live art so we gave them the word 'Scratch.' But is this really helping us? Doesn't an overuse of the word 'scratch' end up making live art sounds like an unfinished theatre?

Besides, why do we always have to invent new words? Performance Art, Live Art, Scratch, Work in Progress, One on One, Intimate performances, Autotheatre...
We already have so many obstacles working in this industry such as the form being relatively new with limited audience and limited funding so maybe it's not very clever if we add a linguistic obstacle between us and our audience.
It's a show! Come see it, you will get it. Or not. Me theorizing it beforehand will only alienate you even more.

There is definitely a question of pretension here probably borrowed from visual arts. Contemporary visual artists often use big words, flashy terms, long complicated texts accompanying simplistic objects such as a whistle attached to the wall that gets sold for thousands of pounds.

The 'scratch nights' that the BAC do are fantastic in many ways and lots of good pieces came out of there but it seems to me that with the new conservative government policies and its effects on the arts in general and on performance in particular, 'scratch' became the main thing that the BAC and other venues (the very few left) are now able to offer live artists.

So what do we do after we scratch and scratch again and again? when are we going to finish those pieces? and most importantly who is willing to produce them?
I get so often emails from venues wanting me to "try new ideas in front of a supportive audience and get precious feedback" which is absolutely great but sadly it doesn't pay my bills and it's quickly descending from artistically satisfying to morally depressing.

As a solo (and lonely) artist, I am up for showing 'work in progress' from time to time when it's really a piece I'm struggling with. I'll probably call it a 'work in progress' because there is something promising in the word progress.
Deborah Pearson and I often invite each other to our studios (our bedrooms) and talk each other through ideas or show a bit of work. We do not call this process anything except maybe 'Help! I'm stuck. And now what? Does this sound epically stupid?'
If we do that in front of an audience, this will become the actual show.

Coming from the idea that everything presented to an audience is actually a performance, my worry is that Scratch becomes another form of live art and constantly presenting this to an audience who is new to live art, does not only break the spell of the work but will also end up in forming an audience who assume that live art shows are simply unfinished pieces of theatre therefore those crazy artists kids are just playing around and don't really need funding as much as the polished and process-mysterious traditional theatre does.

Tescoland

2011-06-22T12:20:00.000-07:00

I fell asleep on the coach today, coming back 'home' from the airport. When I woke up, I couldn't tell where I was. I have been in three different countries in the last few days and I feel completely drained. I couldn't tell which day of the week it was either so I did what I am really good at, I panicked. Which usually consists of me straightening up my back like a cat and moving my head frantically around like a bird. Then I saw a vision that saved me: a massive tesco supermarket standing all alone in the middle of nowhere. Oh the relief! We are in Britain. Yes of course. I fell back into my chair.
The second time I opened my eyes, it turned out we have reached London and the first thing that I saw was this strange blue structure. What the fuck! Is this a disguised CCTV? Yes of course. British landmark number 2.

Sometimes real life happens like a lazy film: a series of exhausted clichés. I really have to sleep.

انتصاب القبح

2011-06-10T06:36:00.000-07:00

لن أتكلم عن الذاكرة الجماعية التي تتأثر في كل مرة يهدم فيها منزلًا تراثياً في لبنان ولا عن خطة دفع الفقراء ومن هم من الطبقة الوسطى الى خارج بيروت لبناء عمارات باهظة الثمن خاصة بفاحشي الثراء. لن أذكر أن بيوتنا القديمة ذات السقف العالي والشرفات الواسعة تشبهنا وتشبه طقسنا المتوسطي أكثر من علب السردين تلك وشرفاتها التي لا يخرج إليها أحد سوى عاملات المنازل الأجنبيات حين تردن الانتحار.

لن أذكر ما عبّر عنه البعض عن أن هذه العمارات الجديدة العالية والمحصنة بالكثير من الباطون والأبواب الحديدية لهي سوى إثبات بأننا بعد الحرب الاهلية بتنا نخاف بعضنا البعض ولا نثق بأحد لا حتى بالمارة وبالجيران.

لن أقول شيئا عن الفساد والقوانين العفنة التي تجعل مدننا ملعباً للمستثمرين الذئاب لكنني سوف أقول ومن باب الجماليات فقط أنّ هذه العمارات الجديدة قبيحة جداً لا بل شديدة القبح وأشعر بالغثيان كلما أرى واحدة منها تنتصب في وجهي وتبنى فوق أعصابي وتحفر في أذنيّ عند كل صباح بيروتيّ.

إن أرادوا الهتك بتراثنا المعماري بهذه الوحشية، أقلّه أن يوظفون لهذه المهمة أشخاصاً يتمتعون بالحد الأدنى من الحس الجمالي.

تحية الى منال الشريف

2011-05-24T14:03:00.000-07:00

كنت أتصارع مع انترنت لبنان، أحاول مشاهدة فيديو منال الشريف، المرأة السعودية التي تحدّت النظام وقادت سيارتها في شوارع الرياض وتمّ اليوم القبض عليها. في ظل هذه المعركة مع يوتيوب، أتى أخي الصغير الذي لم يعد صغيراً وسألني ماذا (أحاول أن) أشاهد. أخبرته عن منال الشريف، تعجّب. قال: "ولااااو لهلأ ما بيسوقو النسوان بالسعودية؟"

ثم قال لا بدَ أن هذه بداية الثورة هناك اذاً.

في الحقيقة أنا متعبة بعض الشيء لأن الساعة متأخرة ولقد قدت سيارة من الحمرا الى جونيه ولم أشعر بالتحرّر أو بالرجولة على الاطلاق. لا أفهم ما مشكلة آل سعود مع السيارات بالتحديد.

سألت أخي ما رأيه أو ربما لم أسأله فهو عادةً يعطي آراءً مجانية.

اليكم ما يقوله بيار خوري (١٧ سنة):ث

ربما لا يريدونها أن تقود السيارة لوجود "فرام اليد" فيها. فشكله ايباحي وغير أخلاقي ولربما يعطي المرأة أفكاراً دنيئة. وان أحداً رآها تلمسه وتشدّه طلوعاً فالمشهد هذا سوف يسبب بحوادث سير حتمية. كما أنهم لربما يخافون أن تجلس المرأة على فرام اليد بالخطأ خاصةً وان كانت تفتقد واحداً في منزلها.

من المعقول أن السبب الآخر هو الخوف على سلامة المرأة السعودية فهي عليها ارتداء حجاباً يحدّ من حقل نظرها مما يؤدي الى عدم تمكنها من رؤية المرايا الجانبية للسيارة دون تحريك وجهها كاملاً. فما هو الأهم يا ترى التنقل في المدينة بسيارة أو ارتداء حجابٍ شرعيّ محكّمٍ على الطريقة السعودية؟

ثم أنهى أخي تحليلاته (على شكل مونولوغ) عمّا اذا كان الحل الأنسب لمنال الشريف والمرأة السعودية أن تقوم بتحجيب سيارتها أيضاً؟ هكذا تمرّ مرور الكرام.

يجدر هنا الذكر أن السعودية تسجل من أعلى نسب حوادث السير على المستوى العربي. فليصمت المتفلسفون من الرجال عن سوء قيادة المرأة للسيارة فالسعودية تثبت لنا من أين تأتي القوانين العفنة والحوادث ومن أين تأتي الأفكار المتمرّدة والثورية.

حرّري نفسك يا منال الشريف وحرّري السعودية بطريقك.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCpZK5xU6tE

What happened in Maroun el Rass on May 15

2011-05-17T05:29:00.000-07:00

I've been wearing a hanzala around my neck for about 8 years now. When asked about it, I like to end my explanation with: "It became the symbol of the right to return for Palestinian refugees." Living in London and meeting people from all over the world, I got to explain my necklace so many times but I always find it weird when I have to explain it to a Lebanese. I become cynical and say something like: You know that there are Palestinian refugees living in Lebanon, right?

On Sunday May 15, the day of the Nakba commemoration (some called it The Third Intifada), I really understood what it means to be a Palestinian refugee in Lebanon: to stand so close to home but never allowed an entry and to be shot at from inside and outside the border. The Palestinians are treated as second class citizen, they are considered a threat, a bunch of untrustworthy extremists, they are dehumanized because that's the only way their oppressors can justify their acts.

Of course I knew that already but for the first time in my life on Sunday 15 May, I was also terrified by the Lebanese army and that was only because I was with Palestinian refugees. This is a video that I took on the day with my phone. It starts with people running happily to the border. Some were brought back dead because they dared to throw stones over the massive fence. They were shot like birds by Israeli snipers. Snipers are the worst kind of humans. Throwing stones on the other hand is now considered a Palestinian ritual, a symbol. It started as a desperate act and still is. This is why Hanzala hides a stone behind his back.

The Israeli offense army always used the stones throwing as an excuse to carry on with their ethnic cleansing backed by mother America. I remember as a child seeing an American man on CNN holding a sign that says: "Stones can kill." I remember asking my teacher at school how can stones kill, what about tanks? He said: "Les Américains sont ridicules."

Since Sunday, debates were sparking everywhere: Could we have avoided the death of these 7 Palestinian refugees in Maroun El Rass? Why do we keep throwing stones at them if we know that they respond with bullets? Will they shoot at us no matter what we do? Are we so cheap? Do they kill Palestinians because they can or because they seriously feel threatened? What if a white man was killed by accident?

I believe that one should always reflect on how to resist and claim back his humanity and rights but I also know that throwing stones is something that Palestinians share wherever they [are forced to] live and they shouldn't accept to be denied that. I once heard in London the Israeli journalist Gideon Levy say that the unique fact about Israel is that it's an oppressing and brutal occupation but it also plays the role of the ultimate victim. That means that Israel doesn't need excuses to shoot Palestinian refugees. In fact, they are now complaining to the UN about Lebanon for not managing to protect the border properly. They probably wrote something along the line of: Tie your animals, Lebanon.

Denying Palestinian refugees to protest by the border and making them leave running up the hill crying and terrified under a non stop heavy shooting by the Lebanese army is not enough for Israel. Nothing will ever please them unless we all disappear so we might as well throw stones and keep resisting.

Another reason why men shouldn't rule the world.

2011-05-06T15:20:00.000-07:00

Men shouldn't rule the world because they're very shit at it. They are incapable of performing the simplest tasks and they long time ago gave up on lifting shit, fixing shit and taking the rubbish out. Instead they hover around, taking so much space, looking useless, killing each other or writing books about how great their fellow men are.
Why am I generalizing? Because I can and because I just traveled across London with 2 heavy bags and on every set of fucking stairs, a woman came and helped me. Not a single man offered help even when one of the women who helped me tripped over and was about to fall straight on her face and some tall dude literally crossed over her. I wondered then if out of this whole pretending-that-women-have-now-equal-rights, we ended up with better rights NOT equal (women in Britain are paid 30% less than men who do the same jobs and women in Lebanon can't even pass their nationality to their kids.) AND we know have to deal with men who use 'equality' as an excuse to basically do nothing around the house, in relationships, in communities and on the fucking tube.
What they do on the other hand is adverts like this one below and the city is littered with them this holiday season. How is it that in 2011 all touristic adverts still have a beautiful woman looking seductively at us? We know that every country has hot women. This is not (or at least shouldn't be) the reason why people travel. Since when half of the world turned into a sex tourism destination? And if so, women have sex too you know and guess what, they also travel so why don't we see cheesy fuckable men in tourist ads?

Anyway I made a top 3:
-The Tunisian ad with a hot women lying on the sand by the sea all oiled up with a curved back and slightly lifted knees. What does that mean? Tunisia is ready to be penetrated?
- An ad for Israel with another women in bikini half covered with mud from the dead sea. Now What does that mean? Hey, we are a brutal apartheid country but you will forget all about that once you see an exotic looking woman staring innocently at you while the sun is setting behind her?
-And the winner of the most chauvinistic and sexist tourist campaign is our own genius video made by the Lebanese ministry of tourism. It shows a western male tourist who can't focus on his work after his holiday to Lebanon because he keeps fantasizing about Lebanon i.e. he sees flashbacks of Lebanese women in bikini sipping cocktails in private resorts featuring a close up of a giggling woman's boobs. Ya emme dakhlik!
The ad world has always been male dominated and maybe it's about time they spare us their shit or at least lift the fucking bag for me you useless twats. Thank you.

بالشفى انشالله

2011-03-27T05:39:00.000-07:00

الله يخليكن ما حدا يتعاطى معي عندي "إحباط مسيحي" من هيدا اللي بيبقى ٢١ سنة وما بفكّ. وشكراً لدكتور أل بي سي اللي شخصتلي هالمرض المزمن. هلأ عرفت من وين جايي أخلاقي العاطلة. يعني فعلاً لشو الواحد بيتشحشط عالمستشفيات وبيدفع اللي فوقه وتحته اذا فيه هو وقاعد براحة بيته، يفتح التلفزيون ويحضر مزيعين ومزيعات عم بيعملوله فحص دم وفحص أخلاق ببلاش؟ هلأ بقلب عتلفزيون المستقبل، بلكي بيوصفولي دوا للإحباط هوليك العباقرة كمان. وبالشفى انشالله لكل الطوايف المدبرسة.

Why is it only for men?

2011-03-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

I am working on a new one on one performance entitled Maybe if you choreograph me, you will feel better commissioned by the BAC for their one on one festival. The show is only open for male audience members.
The idea started as a joke when I told my boyfriend one morning to write me a choreography and I could perform it to him as he didn't seem very keen on my improvisational life. I told him something along the line of "you know you could write me a choreography instead of firing directions at me. I'll do it wallah, I'm a performer."
The piece turned out to be more of a shout against oppression as a whole (and here I'm not putting my boyfriend in the oppressor side). Oppressors are everywhere, they use history, the law of nature, the will of God, science, the criteria of art, language and media "to legitimize their superiority and to ignore or minimize the identity of the oppressed."
During the performance, the audience member decides what I do. I am in the streets, he is in the building by a window. He dictates my movement talking into a dictaphone and I hear him using wireless headphones.
My role while seemingly submissive is to try to make every show my own.
As Paulo Freire beautifully explains, being oppressed is a stronger position because it's a struggle for liberation.

It's for men only because I simply never felt oppressed by women even not by the one who refused me a tourist visa on my 24th birthday.
I am also experimenting with the idea of whether in relational art, we could actually choose our audience like they choose us?
It sounds mad and honestly I don't know how BAC let me do it. They're good people but I have been wondering lately about whether some shows just don't work for specific audiences. At the end, if it's really a relationship, it needs to work for me too not only for them.
My previous show Leave to Remain didn't seem to work when seen by Arabs. Audience were being searched at the door by a man (the boyfriend again) shouting at them in Arabic. Arabs found that hilarious and ruined it for everyone else in the room. I guess it's not the end of the world if an audience member laughs instead of feeling alienated and terrified but still I realized that the performance was made for people who can actually travel everywhere and don't have to do the abysmal Britishness test to be able to live in the UK.
I guess I can't advertise a show as being 'Not for Arabs' but somehow 'Not for women' seems to be PC enough.
This blog entry is as a response to two people whom I much respect. Lyn Gardner who tweeted asking why is the show for men only and Manick Govinda who posted this hilarious and relevant video.
http://www.youtube.com/user/HennesyYoungman#p/u/15/7yea4qSJMx4
(In the video, Mr Youngman claims that some artists use relational aesthetics because they don't really know how to talk to people in real life. It reminded me of an article I wrote once in an Arabic paper about how London forced me into artistic interactivity. Lebanon in comparison is overloaded with interactivity, hence the art is not.)

حليب بودرة للشّم

2011-03-11T12:50:00.000-08:00

ما بفهم ليش بعده الحليب بودرة بلبنان؟

شو نحن بدّنا نشمّه أو نشربه؟

طيّب برشّه عطيز ابن اختي بس حفّضه؟ ولّا برشّه بصبّاتي تما تطلع ريحته؟

بعدين النيدو "ما كبروا معه الولاد صغار وتغذوا وصاروا كبار" لأن نيدو مش لبناني أصلاً. هو من بيت نستله اللي عافطة ريحتن فضايح بأفريقيا.ة

اللبنانيّة هنّي الفلاحين اللي عندن مزارع بقر وما حدا دريان فيهن وبحليبن الطازج لأنو كلّو عم بيسفّق ويتعاطى نيدو
مش حلّنا نخلص من عوايد الحرب والأعاشات؟

يعني سمدس، بيكون (أي أجبان خالية من الأجبان) فهمنا، بس حدن بيشرب حليب بودرة يا الله؟؟

أرضنا وبناتنا لغير البيع

2011-03-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

اعتدنا في لبنان على سماع حكايات عن حبيبين ينتميين الى طائفتين مختلفتين من طوائفنا العديدة وعن مشاكلهم مع أهلهم وأقاربهم وضيعتهم ومنطقتهم بسبب ذلك. والحقيقة أنّ في لبنان حربنا الأهلية لم تنتهي بعد ربما كحال جميع الحروب الأهلية أينما كانت.

ما يعانيه جيلنا الآن نحن الذين ولدنا خلال الحرب ولم نشارك فيها أننا نجد أنفسنا اليوم حائرين بين إرادة الانفتاح على الآخر والعيش معه وبين مراعاة شعور أهلنا الذين هم شاركوا في الحرب الأهلية وما زالوا متشبّصين بأرائهم الطائفية والعنصرية. وفي بلادنا نتعلّم عن صغر سن إحترام الأهل وان أخطأوا ويجدر بنا عدم ابداء أراء سياسية مختلفة عن العائلة خاصةً إن كنا بنات أي "مش فهمانين شي" ونناقش أباء ملّقبين بأبطال حرب.

إنّ رفض المجتمع البطريركيّ للزواج المختلط بين الأديان تتعدى أسبابه الطائفية لتصل لحدود الشوفينية فالقصص التي نسمعها تلك هي في أجمالها تحكي عن والد يرفض "اعطاء" ابنته الى حبيبها الذي من دين آخر. وهناك الكثير مّما يقال عن فكرة "طلب اليد" و"إعطاء اليد" في الزواج وكأنّ الصبية هنا كائن ضعيف إن لم يأخذ بيده رجل لوقع وفكّ رقبته. الشوفينية هنا أنّ ما زال الآباء يعتقدون أنّ بناتهم ملكاً لهم وهم لديهم كامل الحق في إختيار من سيتملّكهنّ بعدهم وكأنهنّ قطعة أرض عزيزة ولن يتخلّوا عنها الّا في حال عرض عليهم عرضاً سخيّاً يتباهون فيه في مجتمعهم الصغير. وكما أن بيع الأرض في لبنان لشرَاء من طائفة أخرى لهو يعتبر سيئاً وفي بعض الأحيان دنيّاً ومحرجاً وغير مسموح كذلك إعطاء الابنة لرجل من غير طائفة خاصةً وإن كانت فتاة جميلة ومتعلمة كحال الكثير من نساء بلادنا. (وهنا عذراً عن استعمال كلمة النساء اذ إن النسوية في لغتنا الشائعة حكر على المتزوجات ومن لم تتزوج تبقى فتاة وإن أصبحت عجوز.)

من المؤسف والخطير أنّ ليس هناك من قوانين جديّة لحماية حقوق المرأة ولاسيما حقها في اختيار شريكاً لحياتها وليس هناك من قوانين جدية لملاحقة من يرتكب جرائم ثأر رهيبة أو من قوانين تمنع الطائفية والعنصرية. وفي المقابل لدينا وزراء يجدَون في نص قانون لحماية الأملاك من بيعها لمواطنين من طوائف أخرى. وإنّ قانون مفجع كهذا ليس فقط عنصري وطائفي وطبقي ويعزز الانغلاق على الذات لكنه أيضاً يشعر المواطنين ولاسيما الشباب منهم بفقد ثقتهم الكاملة في دولة تشدّهم الى الخلف وتعيق حركتهم الطبيعية. فالطبقة السياسية تلك لهي بأغلبيتها الساحقة مكوّنة من رجال من جيل أبائنا وهم مثلهم شاركوا في حرب أهلية ولا يريدون الخروج منها.

ونحن أيضاً منعمين بوجودنا في منطقة جيراننا لهم مثلنا وأضرب في العنصرية والطائفية والذكورية فسمعنا مؤخراً عن مجموعات إسرائيلية متشدّدة تطالب بمنع بنات اليهود من الزواج من الشباب العرب. قرأنا مقالات عديدة في صحف إسرائيلية وعالمية عن تلك المجموعات المتطرّفة ولاحظنا أنه لم يؤتى أبداً على ذكر زواج الشباب اليهود من الفتيات العرب فتساءلنا عمّا اذا كان يحق لهؤلاء بذلك أو أن هذه ليست بمشكلة أساساً اذ أنّ الفتيات العرب لا يحق لهنّ أصلاً الاقتراب من رجالهم. فهل المسألة هنا أن على كل طائفة أن تضبّ بناتها؟

في ظلّ منطقة مترسخة بالانقصام الطائفي والعنصري والطبقي يصعب على الجيل الجديد شقّ طريق آخر بعيد عن اتجاه آبائهم خاصةً بوجود قوانين وسياسيين يعززون تلك الآراء المتخلّفة. ويبقى الحمل الأكبر واقع على أكتاف نساء وبنات هذا الجيل فهنّ يعانين أيضاً من استملاك ذكوريّ وأبويّ لشخصهنّ يحولنهنّ أحياناً لقطعة أرض من تلك التي يتكلم عنها الوزير حرب - قلّل الله من أمثاله -

London agrees, the Lebanese are no sheep.

2011-03-07T17:43:00.000-08:00

A week ago, I was in Lebanon. It felt different. The spirit of the Arab revolutions is spreading fast and can even be felt in Jounieh. Young people— who previously seemed simultaneously super-politicized because they survived quite a few wars and yet apolitical because they chose to avoid being part of the corrupted political system— are now leading one of the most interesting political debates and demonstrations the country had seen for a long time.

On the night before the first scheduled demonstration, some of my Beiruti friends didn't want to go out because they were worried about not waking up in time to participate in the march. For those who don't know, this is pretty unusual for Beirutis on a Saurday night! The few of us who did go out spent it obsessing about the march, coming up with slogans and chants. I have never seen my friends this excited ever since we were at the Lebanese University in Beirut, which was between 2000 (when the South was liberated) and 2005 (when PM Hariri got assassinated). During that period, we felt very hopeful; some of us invested a lot of time and energy to form a secular political group in a largely sectarian right wing university.

The next day on Sunday 27th of February, we went to the march under the heaviest rain I've personally seen in Beirut for years. I worried that I'd find about 10 over excited lunatics but there were thousands of brave people from all age groups. I completely fell in love with the city again. The ambiance was so refreshing and plain fantastic. People were laughing as they were getting drenched with rain and no one was complaining. A stranger offered me his jacket. I was distributing fliers to the cars passing by when a very posh looking lady called me to her Mercedes. For a moment I thought she was going to spit in my face for holding her back in traffic; instead, she offered me an umbrella probably made by Prada. On my way back, I was pretty sure that no taxi driver will be willing to pick me up and soak the car with my dripping-wet clothes. I was again wrong and the driver even refused to charge me. He asked me to read him some of the slogans to which he replied: "You were protesting for me and you so the least I could do is give you a free ride."

Yesterday Sunday 6th of March marked the second protest in Beirut. I have never felt so homesick before. I felt the need to act. So I printed some of the 'No Sheep' signs that were being used in the protest in Lebanon and asked my friends, the Lebanese that I know in London and random people on the streets to hold them in solidarity.

This video is a message of solidarity to the brave Lebanese who are protesting against the corrupted warlords who brought upon us civil wars and drowned us in debts. To those in power, we send you our middle finger and say: your turn is coming, there is no more doubt about it!

الشعب يريد اسقاط النظام الطائفي

2011-02-27T08:33:00.000-08:00

هكذا تكلم رجال حياتي عن مصر

2011-02-01T08:38:00.000-08:00

Ordinary objects that can easily turn into torture devices when left behind by a lover.

2011-01-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

Our dead are not nameless

2010-12-27T12:01:00.000-08:00

When I die, I want to die alone. I want all the attention. I want a scene of sobbing friends and fainting family. I want the whole village, the neighborhood and the industry to talk about me. I want lots of "Ya haram, did you hear about what happened to Tania?" to be answered by a sudden breath in, a hand on the chest, freeze of the eyes, followed by silence. Long heavy silence.

Yes I am aware that I'm sounding like a sad attention seeker but everyone deserves to die alone a natural death or in a banal unfortunate accident as opposed to be group massacred and burnt to death by Israeli white phosphorus illegally used in a horror scene that even the cheesiest Hollywood scriptwriter is embarrassed to come up with.

I often thought about collecting the names of the victims as a simple act of remembrance or in order to re-act the fuss that should have been triggered by their death and defying the collective and nonexclusive brutality that the killers have forced on them.

During the 2006 Israeli war on Lebanon and after the media switched from mentioning the victims names to numbers, such as "30 people died today and 55 were injured," I started collecting the names and photos of the dead and thought of using them in a performance. I ended up with an inbox on my computer full of burnt corpses and infants with half blown bodies and long months of terrifying nightmares.

Today I found the names of 352 Palestinian children who died two years ago during the Israeli war on Gaza (a massacre that killed 1400 Palestinians.) Some of these children were three months old. This is the full list. Read it.

Photo by Matthew Cassel taken in Gaza. More here.

A new drug in town

2010-11-23T04:24:00.000-08:00

There is a drug called mephedrone that fucks you up real quick. You take it, get high instantly and go wherever it takes you. You think that you never had it so good and that this is definitely ammmmaaaaaazing. You dance on crap music, you talk shit to your friends because you just want to 'share the love.' You miss your family, you get teary and nostalgic and loving and emotional and sensitive and passionate... You think where could you go from there? You consider dying just for the sake of a happy ending. Then you realize where you're really going from there: DOWN. Fucking down. You look around you, you wonder if all this loving and kissing and talking was the most fake thing that ever happened to you. You get embarrassed for dancing for hours on cheesy house music and doing things that are not really like you.

This is what I think about some loves. They are like mephedrone. You often wonder if their short period high is even worth it.

Somebody lately gave me a bag of mephedrone, I flushed it down the toilet.

القضية وسندويش دجاج

2010-11-01T16:34:00.000-07:00

في اليوم الأول من أول إقامة فنية لي شعرت بملل فظيع. ما الذي يفعلونه الفنانون في تلك الإقامات؟ غفوت على مقعد مخصص لسينوغرافيا العرض الذي أتخيله. كان هذا أول استعمال لي لمكان العرض وأول علاقة أبنيها معه. عندما صحيت رحت أراقب الموظفين في المبنى المجاور لساعات طويلة وأدرس حركات أجسادهم المدفونة في الكراسي المتلاصقة وأناملهم الرشيقة على الكومبيوترات وحين يتكلم أحد منهم على الهاتف أقوم بدبلجة مكالمته حسب تحريكه لشفاهه ويديه وحسب ما أريده ان يقول من أشياه تافهة أو مضحكة أو دنيئة وكانت هذه العلاقة الثانية التي بنيتها مع المكان المخصص لي لتحضير عرض مسرحي أردته أن يكون أوتوبيوغرافياً عن حياتي العاطفية.م

بعد أربع ساعات من إقامتي الفنية شعرت بجوع هالك فهرعت الى الشارع متمسكة بهذا الشعور وكأنه خلاصي ورحت أبحث عن مكان يسد جوعي ويفتح الشهية واذ أجد نفسي أمام لوحة كتب عليها بالعربية "مطعم لبناني". طبعاً هنا نسيت كل شعور بالفشل والملل ودخلت المطعم برأس عال وشهية فتاكة.

كعادتي في المطاعم والأماكن العربية في لندن أدعي عدم تكلم العربية فأشير بأصبعي الى الطعام أو ألفظ أسماء المأكولات وكأنني لم أسمع بها من قبل في حياتي ولم ينطق لساني مخارج الحروف هذه أبداَ.

التهمت سندويش دجاج مع الكثير من التوم والكبيس وسمعت العاملين في المطعم يتحدثان عن ضيعتهم في جنوب لبنان.

(بعض الأشخاص يخرجون من قراهم ولكن قراهم لا تلبس رافضة الخروج منهم رغم سنين طويلة من الهجرة.)

عند انتهائي من أكل السندويشة وهذه عملية لم تتجاوز الخمس دقائق اذ كنت جائعة وأنا من أبطال العالم في الأكل وحين بدأ شعور الاكتفاء المرافق بالكسل يتسلل الى جسدي, صرخ بي أحد العاملين في المطعم:” هل أنت فلسطينية؟"

"لا" هرعت للجواب بالانكليزية وأشحت نظرى.

"من أين أنت؟"

"أنا... من لبنان" (أنا أخفي بعض الحقائق لكني للأسف أستصعب الكذب)

"من لبنان؟ آاااه... وأنا أيضاً!"

لحظة صمت... لكن سرعان ما انتطفأت بما كنت أتجنبه: انهيار من الأسئلة وحديث سريع مصحوب بأحكام اعتباطية وملاحظات غير مرغوب بها. "ظننت بأنك فلسطينية لأنني قرأت شعار الحرية لفلسطين على حقيبتك" والسؤال المئة مليون "ومن أين أنت في لبنان؟"

" من جونية"

صمت... "حقاً؟" صمت "من جونية ومع فلسطين؟"

لم أجاوب ولاحظ المتسائل ذلك فاعتذر وقال أنه لم يكن بوسعه حتى زيارة جونية في تلك الأيام حين كان في لبنان. قلت له أن الأشياء تطورت ثم غيرت رأيي بسرعة. أردت أن أعطيه الأمل بعد أن سمعته يتكلم عن قريته برومنسية وانفعال ولكني خفت عليه من أن يصدق أن أعلام فلسطين ترفرف في كسروان.

أخبرته عن العرض المسرحي. سألني عن ماذا؟ هل هو عن القضية الفلسطينية؟

"نعم بالطبع" وهرعت بالخروج.

كذبت حين قلت أني استصعب الكذب! أحياناً أكذب في لحظة حرجة. ماذا عساي أن أقول؟ "لا والله العرض عن صاحبي!"سوف يقول أني تافهة ، أني أنانية ، أني من فنانين ما بعد الحداثة الغير مسييسين . سوف يقول أني برجوازية وأني أؤمن بالفن للفن ، سوف يتهمني بأني منشغلة بسيرتي الذاتية... وهو سيكون على حق.

في اليوم الأول من أول إقامة فنية لي نمت ، لعبت وأكلت وأدركت أنني أرتدي شعارات سياسية لكنني لا أغلفها بفناً.

Proustian Tea

2010-10-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

When an Englishman tells you that the smell of tea reminds him of you, know that he's fucked.
You've both read Proust and know everything about the involuntary memory linked to a certain smell.
It'll be hard to avoid tea in Britain!
ha ha you say.
But what happens to you who didn't live your 'episode de la madeleine' yet?
What are the cues that trigger the big, the small, the beautiful, the mad, the ugly, the traumatising past?
What if it's the whole city?

Photo by Carolina Costa

Sticky dinner

2010-10-13T05:05:00.000-07:00

At a London restaurant that serves sticky tortellini drowned in the thickest pasta sauce that can only be prepared by an Italian chef who decided to ditch food quality in order to compete with a nearby greasy chip shop, I sat facing a man who spent a good hour rolling bits of a tissue paper and making a pattern on the table between us... A pattern that kept spreading.

I looked out of the window forcing myself for once not to 'quielty judge' people but I swore that I could read the letters O C D in the sky.

The man doens't call it OCD of course, he said he's into symmetry and that music is all about symmetry.

Did I know that? No not really, I've been hanging out with John Cage in bed. (Reading about people in bed often give me this sense of intimacy with them, but what happens in my bed is another story... also discussed over sticky tortellini).

هناك أمل

2010-10-08T10:39:00.000-07:00

ه"هناك أمل" و"الله كبير" يقول اللبنانيون. بالأمس شاهدوا فيروز تغني وهي أعطتهم الأمل أو أسقتهم اياه في قارورة الحليب تماماً كما تفعل دائماً حين تشتد المحن بالبلاد وحين يهيمن علينا شبح الحرب وحين يتحول الشبح هذا الى واقع فنهرع الى الشوارع محملين بالسلاح وبفيروزيات نواجه بها بعضنا البعض.ل

تقول صديقة على موقع فايسبوك: "أن تحيي فيروز أمسيتين في «البيال»، يعني أنّ الوطن لم يوصد أبوابه بعد."

هناك الكثير مما يقال عن مسؤولية الأخوين رحباني في اختلاق صورة رومنسية للبنان لا تشبه الواقع المضطرب لا بل تعزز شعور خبيث بالوطنية. البعض تأخذ به المبالغة لدرجة اعتبار فيروز المخلص لتشتتنا فيقول "فيروز فعلت ما لم يفعله أحدُ منذ عقود. وحّدت شخصياتٍ من كافة الألوان".ب

ربما الغيرة تدفعني للشك اذ "ليتني كنت معكم (لكنا فزنا فوزاً عظيماً)" لكن...تعالوا نكف جميعاً عن تحميل فناً شعبياً مسؤولية بناء وطن لم يبنى بعد.ل

Live Art explained

2010-09-30T14:21:00.001-07:00

My contribution to the Forest Fringe magazine for the 2010 Edinburgh Festival.

Three days will kill me

2010-09-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

I waited on the bus stop for half an hour. It felt like a year. The image of me having to wait on this bus stop every night after work is depressing the shit out of me. There is no shield for the rain and of course it's raining.
An Indian guy came and waited silently next to me. I've seen him before. He works at a nearby Lebanese cafe. I've seen the Lebanese chef being racist to him. I told him to stop it, he gave me a patronizing wide smile. Lebanese men! Switching between racism and sexism in less than a second.

The Indian guy keeps smiling at me, I wonder how I look to him. People often say I'm easy to read so he can probably tell that I'm slowly dying inside.
I just had an argument with the woman I work for. She wants me to come to work more. She's probably right and knows what she wants and needs and requires... She's one of those efficient professionals.

As soon as she demanded that I show up to work 3 days a week instead of 2, tears exploded from my eyes or at least it felt like it. I have this weird feeling when I'm really down that my body is turning into liquid: tears, vomit, piss, blood... Sometimes I can see proof of this transformation.

There should be work for people who can't sit in an office, work with no creativity or passion, follow a rota, listen to a boss, wait religiously for their lunch break then die slowly while waiting for their retirement age. This work is called art but too bad we can't always survive from it.

يوم غائم جزئياً

2010-09-23T23:53:00.000-07:00

ترفض الشمس أن تشرق على جونيه فسكانها يتحدثون اليوم عن جرائم سياسية وعن شهداء اعتقدوهم أهم قيمة من شهداء مجزرة صبرا وشتيلا .

.يتكلمون عن مخابراتيون يجبرون مساجينهم على شرب بولهم وأنا أخبأ رأسي بين رجلي.ي

يطاوعني جسدي على طم روحي في نفسي.ي
تماماً كما أفعل كلما سمعت أختي تصرخ في خادمتها أو جيراني يمارسون الحب صارخين أيضاً. ر
ت

My horoscope says today is a great day for love. My horoscope is wrong.

2010-09-18T05:06:00.001-07:00

Today I seek refuge in the sea and burry my head under water to cry in the mediterranean.
Today is a sad day for love, for snipers, for new beginnings... but Beirut is oblivious to that. It's witnessing the grand opening of a new hip bar on a rooftop of a building that probably saw once brothers killing each other.
I have respect for buildings that fight amnesia. I can see one now from under the water. It was built illegally right on the edge of the sea by militia men who terrorized my childhood, kidnapped my father and pointed kalashnikovs at our tiny heads. The same one that you took a photo of once, remember?
...

The rest of this post was meant to be sent to somebody as a birthday card but was later on deleted and replaced by this song:

أغنية مغامرات ساسوكي

2010-09-05T03:19:00.000-07:00

ساسوكي أغنية من طفولتنا أشبه بنشيد للانتفاضة أو لثورة دموية.ا

من الواضح أن تلك الصور المتحركة البريئة أتتنا من مكان بعيد وهو اليابان والكلمات العسكرية أتت كما تأتي دائما من الداخل وحينها الداخل كان يأكل نفسه.ص
مقطعي المفضل هو حين نراه في آخر الأغنية طفلا سعيدا ينزلق على قوس قزح على وقع كلمات :" في الدماء نفتديييييي!"و
ة

قم ضع يدك بيدي
قم احمي غدك و غدي
نفتدي ارضنا بالدماء نفتدي
نقضي نقضي على الشرور و ننشر السلام
نحيا بزهو و سرور في حب و وئام
هيا بنا هيا بنا يا رفاق هيا يا اصحاب
بعزما و بئسنا نذلل الصعاب
ساعدي ساعدك نساعد الجميع
ساسوكي قوتك قوة الجميع
نقضي بها على الأشرار و ننصر الاخيار
قم ضع يدك بيدي
قم احمي غدك و غدي
نفتدي ارضنا بالدماء نفتدي

Tattoo

2010-08-31T02:31:00.000-07:00

Dia came round yesterday and wrote on my wrist in her beautiful calligraphy style "أنا من هناك" (I'm from there). I told her I'm thinking to get a real tattoo next time I'm in Lebanon as opposed to the Henna pen bought on Brick Lane. She also wrote on Debbie my flatmate "I don't understand Arabic" It looked beautiful! She tried doing one for herself and fucked it up.

Now that I have the artist who can design it for me (by the way check her website), the question is what should I write? I want something that remind me of not doing the same mistake again (which I'll keep to myself) and something that looks nice written in Arabic and that can still be relevant when I'm 80. God I really hope I wont live till I'm 80.

Dealing with a break up

2010-08-31T01:59:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to make a piece out of all the rejections letters that I have received in the last month. Whenever I got one lately, I'd shout: "This is really not a good time. What's wrong with people? Don't they know?" I will call the piece which will be a long letter made out of all the rejection letters: "Dealing with a break up." It won't be live. I can't do that anymore. Not the live bit but this specific story as a performance is so passé now! (ref. Fuzzy)

Here is a sample. (All I had to do was write "unfortunately" in the search box of my email).

I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but unfortunately your application has been unsuccessful

Unfortunately we’re not going to be able to meet you

we don’t feel that you would be suitable for the company

unfortunately your application has been unsuccessful.

Unfortunately, I’m sorry that we are unable to offer you an interview. We will keep your application on file so we can let you know should other opportunities arise.

Unfortunately we don’t have any vacancies at the moment